Homesickness is a very normal reaction to being away from the comforts and routines of family life. It is normal and in fact is not confined to young children away from home for the first time but also to older campers as well.

So if you think your child may be homesick the first and most important factor in ensuring your child's success is to let her or she know it is normal. Let your child know that you have full confidence that despite a little homesickness camp will be an incredible experience.

Here are some pointers on what you can do to help prevent homesickness:

• Involve your child in the search for his/her summer camp. Discuss with the child all of the aspects of camp, from the activities, to being with a group of friends in a cabin, to the wonderful counsellors whose sole job is to make sure he/she is happy and comfortable. Have your child play and enjoy the web site and the monthly trivia section.
• See if the Camp Director will visit your home if you reside near their office. A good camp director will want to meet your child, not at the camp office but in your home, where your child feels secure.
• Don't be afraid to raise questions of homesickness. Talking about it will prepare them to know how to cope. At the same time do not go overboard and raise the issue too much. All studies have shown that talking about homesickness will not cause it to increase since it normalizes it, as long as it is not the major theme or centerpiece of your discussion. Mention it in a positive way - of course if your child feels homesickness is not an issue no further discussions may be necessary.
• Be positive in your message: do not say before they leave "I don't know what I will do without you". Rather talk about how proud you are of them and you want to hear all about their camp experience.
• Provide opportunities for your child to spend nights away from you. Start with a night out at a grandparent, if available, and move on to a good friend or cousin.
• Write letters well in advance of them getting to camp. But also do not over-write as that can make homesickness even worse. Set their expectation that they should get letters twice a week and that sometimes mail can bunch up so do not be upset if they do not get a letter.
• Talk to the camp about your concerns so they can deal with it appropriately. Ask them what they do for homesick campers.
• Ask the camp to provide names and phone numbers of a couple campers that will be attending the same camp. Try to arrange a pre-camp meeting with these children. See if the camp can assign a big brother or sister to your child at camp.
• Of course, make sure your child brings with them their security blanket, animals, dolls, pictures and other sources of security.
• Reassure your child that you are confident they will be able to deal with it, that they must communicate their feelings to their counsellors who are always there to help them.

Homesickness at Camp:

The hardest thing for a parent is when your child is left crying on the bus, or clinging to you as you send them off. What is interesting to know is that there is no correlation between homesick campers who are crying on the bus and ones that are not. We have many campers whose parents are sure will be homesick because they left them crying and within the day (and sometimes the hour) are happy. We have others, where parents never thought their child would be homesick and then once they get to camp, homesickness sets in.

• So do not make assumptions and remember that a little homesickness is normal and even healthy.
• In most cases when children are homesick it is during the inactive times of rest hour and bedtime. Additionally children that wake up early in the morning can get homesick. Most children that are homesick are still having a positive experience at camp and in fact will write home when they feel sad, yet are most likely happy 90% of the day! So do not be concerned with letters that express homesickness but it is advisable to phone the camp office in case their counsellor was not aware of the situation.
• Whatever you do, do not tell you child he or she can come home after a certain time frame if they are homesick. The problem with this is that the camper will be fine until that date and then insist on going home. Instead avoid that issue by saying " if you are that unhappy the Camp said they would call us and we will see how we can make you happier", "you know what lets deal with that at the time as I am confident you can get through it".
• When you write your letters to your camper, make sure you do not stress how much your miss them but rather ask them questions about camp and make your letter positive, with specific questions about their cabin mates, friends, and activities at camp.

Some examples of what we do at Manitou to help a homesick child:

• Younger children arrive with a Manitou Moose on their bed as a symbol of the caring and comfort they will receive at camp.

• All staff is trained in pre-camp on homesickness and how to deal with it. This training includes many pointers- for example:

  Prevention Is the Best Medicine
  Planning activities that help campers get to know other campers and showing them around the camp grounds helps campers get familiar with the facility and the people and makes them feel more at home. Often such activities can help prevent homesickness.

  Break the ice
  Ice-breakers and get-to-know-you games provide campers and staff with a way to get to know the likes and dislikes, skills, talents, attitudes, and personalities of the people that they will be spending time with during their stay.

  Raise campers' comfort level
  Tell campers absolutely everything that they need to know about their camp stay. Tell them about what will happen on the first day, what their daily schedule will be like, when they will have free time, when their bedtime is, what time they have to get up, and when they will take their showers. Make sure to take them on a tour of camp and show them where everything is. Don't forget to show them the location of the nurse, the outgoing mailbox, and any meeting places that you might use during the week.

  Establish ground rules
  Make sure everyone is on the same page as far as cabin rules, camp rules, acceptable behavior, and what the consequences are if any of these norms are broken. Sometimes having campers come up with some of their own ground rules will raise their comfort level, too.

  Keep 'em busy
  During down times, campers tend to think about home and focus on the fact that they aren't there. Rest hour, early morning, and before bedtimes are times when campers may get homesick because these are times when they are used to being with their families. Try to keep their minds on other things. Play some quiet games, pass a story around, or write a group letter that you can copy and mail home to parents.

  Set goals
  If you find yourself with an unhappy camper, one of the keys to curing the ailment is to set attainable goals, both for the camper and for yourself. The goals may be as simple as making an agreement with the camper that he needs to stop crying until dinner time. You may ask a camper to try to remember three times during the day that he smiles and then tell you about these times the next time you meet. The staff member may try setting a goal to continue to encourage the camper and to work on the problem for an entire day before asking for help from another staff member or the camper's parents.

  Ask for help
  The great thing about working at camp is that you are never alone. Other staff members and our six directors are there to support you, and they are ready and willing to help. Keep in mind that experienced staff have handled these kinds of problems before, and they might have some good ideas to get your camper through the next hour, day, or week. Sometimes it helps to have someone else in camp who understands the situation and can talk to your homesick camper.

  Give a little extra TLC
  Homesick campers might just need a little extra care. Spend a little extra time with them or ask the assistant director or other staff member to take a special interest in the camper. At first the camper may cling to this new-found friend, but little by little the camper will become more independent and join in activities with the cabin group. Of course sometimes the camper after a few days may need "tough love" but to make this decision work with the unit head and camp director.

  Don't make promises you can't keep
  Kids can be devious when it comes to getting something they want, and counselors must be sure they don't make promises that they can't or aren't willing to keep. For example do not say you can phone home since that will not happen. Instead use the Camp Directors in a positive way- " I bet if you can get through today without crying- I could arrange for you to throw a Pie in the Directors face- what do you think of that?"

  Share
  At times, campers just want to know that they belong. Give them your favorite stuffed animal to borrow while they are at camp. Share a funny story about when you were a camper, or share a secret that helped you not feel homesick. Have them share some things about their lives, too. Ask them about school or their baseball team or their last dance recital. Keep them talking and thinking about anything, and show interest in them. And sometimes, you just have to share a smile to help your campers feel better.

• All staff is told ahead of time if a child may be more homesick then "normal" and/or if a parent is concerned about homesickness. Furthermore we instruct the activity counsellors to give them special attention at their activities
• All children during the down times are watched closely to ensure that if they may be homesick they are handled in a special way. That means taking a homesick camper out of the cabin at rest hour with a special friend he has met, to go fishing, or having a cabin game that involves that camper. (Just two of many examples).
• Counsellors make sure the camper's bedtime routine is suitable for that child by offering music, guitar, or typical bedtime stories as they go to sleep at night. Once again the key point is that the children are distracted and benefit from personal attention and nurturing bedtime routines.
• Each morning the Camp Directors, Activity Heads and Unit Heads meet and read out in confidence names of homesick campers so that when the child goes to an activity, special attention is given to that camper.
• It may be, in a subtle way, that the pairing of a camper at the activity with another camper is helpful - a type of big brother/sister situation. It may mean finding another camper that also is wishing for a friend and working behind the scenes to have those campers in the same group and having those campers coincidentally sitting beside each other or working together.
• By having so many directors and leaders aware of the homesick campers, it allows most staff to be able to monitor the camper and make it much easier for that person to adjust in a positive fashion. As a result Unit Heads, Activity Heads, and Directors get to know these campers, sit at their tables at meals and/or visit them at night.
• If the child is an older camper, usually direct involvement with the other campers in the cabin, along with the counsellors, can quickly turn a camper around and make them feel at home. Direct communication with the camper on their feelings, with constant supervision by the counsellor and unit head to make sure they are participating and making a best effort is usually the central factor for the older children. Sometimes "tough love" may be appropriate with older campers.
• We take great pride that our Camp Directors are available to support Unit Heads and counselors who are working with a homesick camper. Often one of Markus, Mark, Jeff, Sandy, and David are working with homesick campers, creating diversions and fun at the highest level. It could be a tetherball tournament (Camp Director versus the camper) where the entire cabin is cheering on the camper and of course the camper wins, or it could be a special visit at night in the cabin.

Dealing with homesickness is therefore common sense. It requires time, effort and patience by every level of the staff, from the counsellors, to the activity heads, to the unit heads to the Directors.

We are proud to say we have an incredible record with homesick campers. And remember, usually the parent is more worried then the camper!